Doctor Epiphany Trebuchet

Name: Dr. Epiphany “Piffy” Trebuchet

(Original artist unknown; PM Pig_catapult if you know who drew it)

Species: Human (undead)

Position: Science Officer

EXP: 0


  • Melee: 1
  • Defense: 3
  • Electronics 3
  • Perception 0
  • Science:
    • Biology: 5
    • Chemistry: 4
    • Physics: 4
  • Sense Motive: 5

Inventory of Possessions:

  • Big, round prescription glasses
  • 10 white lab coats, tailored to shorten the sleeves and overall garment length
    • 2 "adventuring labcoats", which have a reinforced strap on the back for "The Dufflebag Maneuver"
  • 1 2-step footstool
  • * A lot of textbooks
  • 3 specimens of Carassius auratus auratus, named "Clarence", "Artemis", and "William Fredrick von Fishyheart VII"
    • Artemis died when a group of space-ninja blew up the crew quarters
      • Fish Jesus Roy brought Artemis back from her ashes. (oAo)
  • 1 80-gallon, curved-front aquarium, with equipment and accessories
    • Aquarium lost in explosion that killed Artemis
    • Currently replaced by a large, clear mixing bowl Epiphany swiped from the kitchen
      • Tank has been replaced with one just like it.
        • The fish have been moved to a full-wall tank in the lounge
          • The fish are all dead —
  • 1 overstuffed, three-seat sofa—
  • 2 throwpillows
  • 1 luxury sensory-deprivation tank. Has 200 true-to-life location settings in addition to the default blissful oblivion.
  • 1 "spiderfish" that Burns created. Johan is a murderous little monstrosity, and has to stay in a (lidded!) mini-tank all his own, but she buys his loyalty with freeze-dried blood worms. His eyes gleam with an "evil intelligence". Yes, all 16 of them.
    • ////(::::A::::)\\\\
  • 1 animated plushie "clone" of Johan, named Liebert. Liebert, being both cuddly and inedible, has been accepted by Johan as a sort of apprentice/little brother
  • 1 adorable baby nightmare blob, named Harold. He eats keratin and blood agar.
    • 1 blue felt fedora
  • 1 3-chambered "monster village" that comfortably houses Johan, Liebert, and Harold.
  • 1 treadmill-powered locomotive made from the base of a maintenance bot, used by Harold to trundle around faster than he can ooze normally.
  • 1 plush fish with glasses, a little labcoat, and a nametag that says "Dr. Fishy". Has a yellow body, orange fins, and a big smile
  • 1 carefully-folded piece of blue, snowman-print wrapping paper
  • On the more meta side of things, I, the player, have compiled a Youtube playlist of songs that I think fit her.

Inventory of Equipment:

  • Clipboard
  • Mechanical pencils w/ extra erasers and graphite
  • College-ruled note paper
  • 5mm graphing paper
  • 1 barely-used PDA
  • 1 PDA with a zettabyte of various scientific data on it; has a smaller keyboard than her old one
  • 1 messenger bag

Notable Character Traits:

  • Won't Rest in Peace: Dr. Trebuchet does not eat, sleep, or need to breathe, and dedicates herself to work, study, and her goldfish nearly 24 hours a day.
  • A Scratch in Time: Dr. Trebuchet's body returns to the state it was in at the moment of her death every 12 hours, like a skipping record. This “loop reset” takes only a moment, but hurts like hell.
  • Doctor Read: Dr. Trebuchet is a speed-reader. She has trouble reading aloud because she reads considerably more quickly than it is physically possible for her to speak.

Notable Character Flaws:

  • Spoonerisms Fetting Gucking Everywhere: Dr. Trebuchet has a speech impediment (spoonerisms). She is very sensitive about this fact, and has sought (yet-unsuccessful) speech therapy for it. She tends to write long sentences down instead, but is more open around Amelia, Burns, Seth and Roy.
  • No-BRAAAAIIIIIINNNSSSSer: Dr. Trebuchet is very distrustful of others as a rule, and is constantly vigilant for signs of deceit or ulterior motives in the people she converses with. She has a general suspicion of people mocking her or not taking her seriously. She does not take well to "zombie" jokes.
  • I'm Surrounded by Idiots: Dr. Trebuchet is highly critical of those she perceives as being unintelligent or lazy. Holds her pet fish in higher regard than most people she interacts with, although she respects fellow geniuses, and also individuals that are hypercompetent in their field of work or study.
  • Necrololi: Dr. Trebuchet, being dead, does not and has not aged since her death at 6 years old. This causes a number of problems.
    • She's barely eye-level with the bottom edge of the countertops.
    • Rigour mortis starts setting in after 3 hours, and gets progressively worse until she regenerates. As such, her fine-motor skills are… sub-par, and she much prefers using such archaic things as a pencil and paper to take notes rather than messing around with her PDA.
    • Despite lacking measurable brain activity, she seems to still be restricted by her 6-year-old brain physiology and development. Most notably, she lacks a moral compass, but usually follows rules, and mostly predicts consequences/cause-and-effect by rote rather than reason.


  • Most of the things listed under possessions stay in her lab or quarters.
  • Epiphany's birthday is January 6th.
  • Epiphany died on December 26th, while on Christmas vacation with her parents on a beach in Australia. Everyone/everything within a half-mile radius also died in the ensuing explosion, including her folks. She, being unlucky enough to be at Ground Zero, just happened to get stuck instead of dying properly.
  • Epiphany was killed 26 years ago by a temporal anomaly (it was shiny; she was six), the nature of which now prevents her from staying dead. This could be theoretically reversed by coming into contact with an identical or inverted phenomenon, but in practice you'd have to have mad luck to find or generate one of those even if you were trying. If she was confronted with one, however, she would jump at the chance to finally die properly.
  • Dr. Trebuchet's brain activity has been abstracted from her physical brain, which she theorises is the cause of her ability to retain memories and knowledge through the temporal resetting of her body.
  • She would never share this information with anyone, but she did not speak in spoonerisms prior to her death. She privately believes that this may be a side-effect of aforementioned abstraction of brain activity, and that this implies that the transfer of meta-electric information to electric information is imperfect.
  • Appearance
    • Epiphany has straight raven hair, going down to the bottom edge of her shoulder blades.
    • Her skin's a little bit too pale.
    • Very slightly East-Asian-y cheekbones
    • Deepest blue eyes you've ever seen.
  • Things added in RP
    • Piff has doctorates in general biology, general chemistry, and general physics, and is working on bachelor's degrees in xenobiology, biochemistry, aerodynamics, microbiology, and nanomechanics. She plans to have a doctorate in everything eventually.
    • Piffy and Amelia are planning to build a magnificent marble machine. It's gonna have air jets and size-sorting, that's how magnificent it's gonna be. The idea has also come up of painting a big portrait of Piffy's fish on the wall, but she's kinda ambivalent to that right now.
      • The marble machine they built malfunctioned. It put two dents in the lounge walls, one in the floor, shattered a drinking glass, all but one bottle of booze above the bar, and Epiphany's left eyeglass lens. Said marble canon has been confiscated to Security.
        • Canon marble lost in crash onto Holog
      • They never got around to doing that painting.
    • The exact technobabble principle behind Dr. Trebuchet's undeadness is Gerek's Theory of Temporal Distortion, an old theory widely considered debunked by most of the scientific community due to lack of a proof. Piffy… is a proof of Gerek's Theory of Temporal Distortion. She has absolutely no plans to ever share this fact with the rest of the scientific community, despite (or, perhaps, because of) the fact that it would probably revolutionise the field of time theory.
    • Clarence is was small, telescope-eyed, and calico. Artemis is was is was pure white and very, very fat. William Fredrick von Fishyheart VII is was regally mottled with matte black and shiny gold.
  • The following is (mostly) a joke:

Johan's stats:

  • Agility: 7
  • Being Scary: 6
  • Cannibalism: 5
  • Defense: 4
  • Foreign Languages: 5 (English, Scorpion, Spider, Pirhanna, Russian)
  • Melee: 5
  • Watching You When You Sleep Perception: 10
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